REGENERATIVE LEADERSHIP: An Honest Reflection

Jessica von Farkas
Sep 21
5 min read

Writing this piece on regenerative leadership evoked some resistance inside of me. The concept matters deeply, and with so much great work being done on it, I inevitably hear that little voice in my head, asking: Who are you to talk about this? This little monster, telling me, telling you, you don't know enough, you are not knowledgeable enough.

From here is where I choose to start our point of departure:

Being regenerative, leading regenerative is not about being perfect and knowing it all. It’s about restoring, renewing, improving, so that people, teams, and systems become healthier, happier and more resilient over time.

This summer reminded me of this tension. On one side: My master mind calendar with color-coded time for deep-focused time. Project milestones being delayed by short-time demands, sickness, things turning out to take longer, presenting higher levels of complexity. On the other hand: Feeling alive, swimming at sunrise, connecting with friends and family, hiking through mountain light, delivering a big program I was proud of, creating space talking to colleagues, listening to their experience and advice, co-creating, giving candid and open feedback, receiving back and learning together.

Whenever I try to find balance between these two sides, the voice inside keeps on whispering: not enough. Neither here, nor there. That’s when I remembered: regeneration isn’t a perfect recipe.

WHERE IT STARTS

Regenerative leadership starts with each one of us. With myself. With yourself. When was the last time you heard your inner critique saying: not enough, you don’t deserve this break, this recognition, this - you name it. You don’t belong to this group, into this space.

Something powerful happens when I allow myself to stop silencing this inner voice, and to feel these emotions, to listen to what those emotions are telling me. And remembering firmly:

Everyone deserves love. Everyone belongs. No matter what. Our brain is so powerful, and there is a powerful part to it that tells us stories of disconnection and isolation. But to this dark side, there’s also its other side: Of light and possibility. It is my work, it is your work, to practice and tell other stories, of love, and connection.

THE TRAP OF PERFORMANCE

The world of leadership is full of expectations. Pleasing boards, colleagues, numbers, audiences. And yes, sometimes it all works. More often, it doesn’t.

And when it doesn’t, what matters most is how we achieve our goals. Do we arrive inspired and feeling alive, radiating this to others? Or exhausted and guilty, depleting ourselves and everyone around us?

Let’s be honest that things get messy: At work - no matter if that work has been done a hundred times, or you are working on the solutions to the world's biggest challenges. There are external dependencies from others in your team or ecosystem, there are deadlines, and the reality of life: You had a really bad night, your kid has a tantrum and after two hours of screaming, you give up and they stay at home with you, a horrible internet connection that kills your amazing big focus time window; miscommunication in teams, leading to losing 2 or 3 days of work.

You won’t get it right every time, you will mess up. I do. But it doesn’t define you. If anything, it reminds us that we are human.

A LIVING PRACTICE

For me, regenerative leadership is asking:

What is the purpose I want to drive in this world? What do I need to embody to actually support it instead of bringing in an energy that contradicts the outcome?

I do notice (and maybe you do too) when I’m out of alignment, when I bulldoze instead of nurture, when I speak in a way that doesn’t create space. That’s not regenerative.

My practice is to stop. To breathe, and to tune in. To ask: What is needed right now? Can I direct my energy and attention there, how can I act on it?

It’s okay not to get it right all the time. What matters is noticing, listening, and trying again.

BECAUSE REGENERATIVE LEADERSHIP IS ALSO ABOUT

HOW DO YOU RELATE WITH OTHERS?

With your team, with yourself, your family. Do you nurture or bulldoze?

HOW DO YOU SPEAK YOUR TRUTH?

Even when it’s hard, letting go of a fear of being judged, or misunderstood.

HOW DO YOU ACEPT OTHERS?

They may be in a different place than you are. Sometimes that means you walk separately for a while.

And yet, even with this awareness, there’s still the voice inside: Not enough. Not fast enough. Not efficient enough. Not present enough.

That’s where the real work lies. Not in silencing the voice, but in finding peace with it. I believe you can find this practice in any place in which you are - in a big corporate environment, in your own business.

The choice to pause, and re-connect to your purpose, and to relate with people, speaking from a place of openness, not control or fear, accepting others where they are rather than coercing them to come and meet you at your terms.

STORIES WE CARRY

We all lead with stories, those told to us, those we tell ourselves, and those we want to pay attention to in the future.

For a long time, I equated strength with independence. I don’t need anyone. I only need my creativity, drive, dedication and hard work. But regeneration is about connection. Interdependence. Asking for help. Trusting that support is not only possible, but welcomed.

Because when we don’t ask, what we’re really saying is: I don’t trust you. I can‘t rely on you, the possibility that you mess this up. I need to do this myself, to get the result I want. And If I don't get the result I want, I am unworthy of love, connection, and appreciation. That’s not resilience. That’s isolation, that's trauma right in front of you, ready to be seen, hugged and healed.

WHAT I’M LEARNING ABOUT REGENERATIVE LEADERSHIP

IT BEGINS WITH SELF-FORGIVENESS.

You can’t restore others if you’re running on guilt and depletion.

IT’S ABOUT ATTENTION

Where am I placing mine. On fear, or on possibility?

IT EMBRACES IMPERFECTION

You can fail and still be whole.

IT THRIVES ON INTERDEPENDENCE

Asking for help is regeneration in action.

IT’S ABOUT STORIES

Which ones do I want to carry forward, and which ones can I let go?

So here I am, writing this article with a lot of love, with a seven day delayed deadline. Still resisting, but choosing to share anyway, feeling joy and excitement. Because regenerative leadership is about coming back, again and again, to connection, and trust. Every day. Every minute.

What does regenerative leadership

mean to you?

How do you practice coming back to connection in your own work and life?

Jessica von Farkas is deeply committed to fostering inclusivity and environmental harmony. Over the span of ten years at the BMW Foundation, she's been at the forefront of leading global leadership programs and developing innovative equity strategies. She has played a pivotal role in shaping organizational culture towards equity, ensuring that inclusivity and belonging are prioritized.

Moreover, she has successfully built diverse networks across North America and Europe, advocating for sustainable practices and promoting inclusivity within various sectors.